Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize