Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
