i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
