Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
why do cheetos always look like penises
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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