kristin has been a bad kristin
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
