After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
