I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
