aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Pooping to opera.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
