With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You've changed since you got that strap on
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
