apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Well I just put wine in my tea
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
