I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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