I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
