In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
