I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
