She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
