You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize