i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
