I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
it glows. i had to have it.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
