I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
