Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
