also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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