I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
