i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
