: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
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