They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
