I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
