yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
