he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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