I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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