Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
