No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize