Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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