For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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