i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
