whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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