dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
