May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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