So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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