Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
