it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
sex in a hospital.. check
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
