I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
