She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
