so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
