Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He is an equal opportunity slut.
even my farts smell like vagina
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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