I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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