What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
he was CRYING into my vagina
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
