dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
