It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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