Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
