is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
