What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
