I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
