If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
