I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize