everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
