guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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