He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
