I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
