I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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