I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
